Nature vs. Nurture Revisited

“Our birth is
but a sleep
and a forgetting:
The Soul that
rises with us,
our life’s Star,
Hath had elsewhere
its setting,
And cometh
from afar.”

William Wordsworth

Scientists have long debated whether it is nurture or nature that makes us who we are. Do we come to this earth as a clean slate to be shaped into the person we are by our environment? Or are there parts of us that have always been and cannot be changed no matter what we face?

Lately, at the Rancho we have had this very conversation. Our concerns stem from an incident with Child Number Four (the Kindergartner).

The other day he sat eating a plate of nachos with chili con carne when he enthusiastically exclaimed, "Dad, this is delicious! These PEANUTS are fabulous!"

Mr. V had to stop and process this for a moment and then asked, "What did you say?"

"I said," responded Number Four, "These PEANUTS are actually fabulous!"

When Mr. V came to me I could see the deep concern on his face. "Dear," he said, "I have failed as a father."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

He replied, "I have failed to properly teach my son how to be a Mexican. He doesn't know the difference between PEANUTS and BEANS!"

So, that brought us to the current debate. Personally, I think we come to this life with many characteristics that are just us and have always been.

Has my husband failed in his responsibilities? I don't think so. Parenthood is so much more.

Often times amid the noise, commotion, and business of everyday life I have caught glimpses of true greatness in my little ones. It is something unspoken, but surely felt in those unexpected moments that seem to just happen.

And so, as I consider the crayon artwork on my walls and the piles of clutter that surround me, I remind myself that it really isn’t about peanuts or beans, or clean rooms, or personal space. It is about helping them understand who they are and who they can become.